Last week, another attempt was made on the President Trump’s life. The alleged would-be assassin was identified as 31-year-old Cole Allen. Immediately after the news broke, a LinkedIn profile was dug up that showcased the perpetrator’s Caltech degree, his job as a teacher’s assistant, and as a game developer.

In Bohrdom, you can play as the nucleus or the electron. As the nucleus, you are locked to the center of the atom and must prevent the electron from escaping. You can accomplish this by shooting lasers, which drains your health. If you manage to drain the electron’s health in time, it won’t be able to leave the atom wall. At the same time, something(???) outside the atom wall shoot their own lasers that heal the electron.

When playing as the electron, you bounce around for several minutes while the bot lands perfect hits on you. Maybe there’s logic I’m missing. Maybe I’m retarded.

All of this is self-taught. The mandatory tutorial before you can play is laughably unhelpful. It’s dialogue box after dialogue box, full of jargon and strange descriptions only a Caltech graduate would understand. After hitting spacebar a dozen times, you play the game for two seconds before yet another wave of dialogue boxes tell you what keys to hit. Not that you’d understand what they do, as the electron immediately escapes and you lose. You are now able to play the campaign.

You can tell that it’s supposed to be enjoyed the same way as Bejeweled or Tetris, but in those games the mission can be identified using common sense. Even with the “tutorial,” I cannot figure out a method to be good at Bohrdom. The scoring system is a black box. I can rack up points in the five figures by doing nothing. When I beat my high score, I can’t tell what I did differently besides surviving for a little longer.

The game is currently off-sale on Steam. You can still check out the store page, but you won’t be able to send the would-be Trump assassin $1.99 in exchange for a bad game… like I did.